Too many things happened in our lives the way we did not intend them to.
Family, things we thought once was perfect begin to have cracks too. Maybe they’re not really cracks, they’re just different things/thoughts that your family no longer could keep up with. They no longer understand you, but they still love you. It’s painful to accept the truth, but you just have to make a decision and move on. Like my sister said, “Life is like a one-way train ticket, people comes and goes, rarely anyone will be able to reach the destination with you.” It’s the same with family.
Just let it be, let things flow the way it should be when you’ve done your part. I begin to understand this phrase more clearly after reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, we focus too much, put too much effort into things that we shouldn’t care or things we have no control of. Family, friends, and love relationships, any types of relationships that should help you grow instead of wasting your time.
Not only the social aspect but also the academic side. I was an academically excellent student when I was little, but as I grew up, I started to get more afraid that I’ll make a mistake so I became less “competitive” because I don’t want to lose. The result of not losing is also not winning. I did not try, therefore I never get a sense of accomplishment and never get any happier than I could be.
A week ago, my drawing teacher gave us the assignment to sketch our breakfast. The moment I received the assignment I started thinking what kind of media should I use? How can I impress my professor and get an A on this assignment? The first attempt, I sat in a really nice breakfast place and ordered a nice looking strawberry Nutella crepe with ice cream, but I decided to just take a picture and sketch it when I get back home. A week later, I went back to the same restaurant for my second attempt. This time, I ordered some pesto chicken breast crepe with salad on the side, as the waitress suggested. When it was delivered to my table, I sat there with my blank sketchbook not knowing where to start. The meal wasn’t as pleasant looking as the one I’ve ordered last time and I have no idea how to draw the salad. But I said to myself, “Fuck it, I’m just going to draw.” I stopped thinking what kind of media I should use and I stopped giving a fuck about impressing my art professor. And the drawing came out fine, not superb, but I’m happy about accepting the challenge and facing it upfront. The book said “Don’t try,” but what it meant was do not be afraid of your potential and just fucking do it. It’s better to turn in an unfinished work than to turn in nothing. No one is going to judge you except yourself so don’t be so harsh on yourself, please.
The whole idea is to stop thinking too much. Stop giving a fuck about everything and everyone. Just do your part and let it be.